Junk, junk, and more junk!!

Saturday I am participating in a yard sale at my work, so over the last few weeks I have been eye-balling things and trying to decide what I want to get rid of. The more I look, the more I find! I am astonished by the amount of stuff we have in our house, a lot of it being extra furniture (some of which isn't ours, but I guess since it has been left in our house for over a year and there is no intention of the owners/abandoners collecting it, it's fair game to be sold!).

So all this junk got me to thinking: why are people so big on possessions? To so many people, our possessions define us. We collect knick-knacks and things because they remind us of our favorite things - sports, animals, places, etc. We put them up on nice little shelves and forget about them until we are showing some on around our place and can say "Oh, this is my collection of dog figurines because you know I just love dogs". Often times these things become so treasured that we just can't bear to part with them. But at the end of the day, aren't they just dust collectors?

Now don't get me wrong, after this yard sale you will not walk into my house and see nothing but pristine, empty shelves; minimalism is not my thing! But I am hoping to let go of a lot of stuff, and I hope that my stuff will make someone else very happy!

Ah, rain!

I love the rain. There is something calming and peaceful about it - the sound on the roof or on the window, the coolness it brings, the fresh smell.... No matter what, whenever it rains I feel a sense of calm and peace. Now, I'm not a fan at all of thunderstorms (especially ones that bring the type of hail that damaged my truck a few weeks back :-\), I like the type of soaking rain that soaks you to your core.

I guess it really comes from three years spent in Manchester. I have a lot of memories of walking home from work in the rain. Even though I walked through the heart of the city centre to get from my work to my halls of residence, I always felt like I was on my own. No one bugs each other when its raining. Its like this silent march, everyone getting to their destination as fast as possible without detouring. My usual route home took me through Canal Street. Most of the time, the scent of stale alcohol with a hint of vomit hung in the air, but when it rained, it was clean and fresh. I loved walking this way in the rain, even though the wet cobbles were even more difficult to navigate. Of course when I arrived home I would always be soaked! But nothing a cup of tea and a fag couldn't sort out.

I think the reason why I love the rain so much is because it reminds me of this time in my life where I found it very easy to run away from my problems. It wasn't an easy time in my life by any means, but I had the support of some wonderful friends who helped to prop me up. And I loved the solitude that I had, the ability to be alone in the city with swarms of people around constantly. It was a very different life than the one I have now. Even though I love being a wife and a mother, there are times when I look back and wonder why I ever left. Obviously God had other plans for me, but I will always look at the rain and smile.

Bills, bills, bills....

Life is changing for us. The kids are growing up way to fast, and life continues to move at a pace that is both exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. Everything feels so cluttered and I feel like I am beginning to be overwhelmed by the clutter in my life. Not just the physical clutter (and don't get me wrong, my house really does not look like an episode of "Hoarders" at all!!) but the emotional clutter too. One of the major things weighing on me right now is our debt situation.

In RCIA, we are always telling the candidates/catechumens about how sin is like voluntary slavery. At first, it feels great - you choose the sin over the truth because it makes you momentarily happy and satisfied. But the happiness is fleeting and what you are left with is emptiness and guilt. Well, the same thing can be said about spending money. It feels great to buy things and to go out to dinner and to wear new clothes. But eventually the new things become old, the dinner is a distant memory, the clothes are old and worn, and I am left with a bill. But worst of all, sin is forgiven. Bills are not!

So I am slowly trying to break us of the bonds of our debt. I have had many "wake up calls" in the past, but they are usually short lived and I go back to my bad habits. Now we have something to work towards, a serious goal. I know that we can do it if we work very hard.

The first step is to write a budget and stick to it (not something I'm good at!). Plus, next weekend, I am participating in a huge yard sale at work, and instead of putting the proceeds towards a new couch like I had wanted to do, we will be putting it towards debt. I am really looking forward to getting rid of both some clutter and some debt.

Right now, I feel like we are at a crossroads. My work situation will be changing in the next 8 months and this will force me to make some changes. I have to ask myself, do I really want to continue spending the majority of my day outside of the home and away from the kids and spending my weekends desperately trying to recharge my batteries? Or do I want to make some changes that will both be better for me and for my family? The first step in making this happen will be getting on top of our debt. I know it won't be easy, but it something I have to do.