Life is changing for us. The kids are growing up way to fast, and life continues to move at a pace that is both exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. Everything feels so cluttered and I feel like I am beginning to be overwhelmed by the clutter in my life. Not just the physical clutter (and don't get me wrong, my house really does not look like an episode of "Hoarders" at all!!) but the emotional clutter too. One of the major things weighing on me right now is our debt situation.
In RCIA, we are always telling the candidates/catechumens about how sin is like voluntary slavery. At first, it feels great - you choose the sin over the truth because it makes you momentarily happy and satisfied. But the happiness is fleeting and what you are left with is emptiness and guilt. Well, the same thing can be said about spending money. It feels great to buy things and to go out to dinner and to wear new clothes. But eventually the new things become old, the dinner is a distant memory, the clothes are old and worn, and I am left with a bill. But worst of all, sin is forgiven. Bills are not!
So I am slowly trying to break us of the bonds of our debt. I have had many "wake up calls" in the past, but they are usually short lived and I go back to my bad habits. Now we have something to work towards, a serious goal. I know that we can do it if we work very hard.
The first step is to write a budget and stick to it (not something I'm good at!). Plus, next weekend, I am participating in a huge yard sale at work, and instead of putting the proceeds towards a new couch like I had wanted to do, we will be putting it towards debt. I am really looking forward to getting rid of both some clutter and some debt.
Right now, I feel like we are at a crossroads. My work situation will be changing in the next 8 months and this will force me to make some changes. I have to ask myself, do I really want to continue spending the majority of my day outside of the home and away from the kids and spending my weekends desperately trying to recharge my batteries? Or do I want to make some changes that will both be better for me and for my family? The first step in making this happen will be getting on top of our debt. I know it won't be easy, but it something I have to do.
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