Glutton for punishment?

It can be said that we women are gluttons for punishment. Our beauty regimes alone can be physically painful - plucking/waxing eyebrows, shaving legs and underarms, straightening or curling our hair (and inevitably burning ourselves!)... the list goes on, and as I sit here in my 4 inch heels that will inevitably cause my sciatica to act up later on in the afternoon, I am reminded of how foolish this is!

But I think to a certain extent, we are also gluttons for emotional punishment too. We choose men who we know will hurt us, we keep toxic friends close to us, we get wrapped up in drama that we really want no part of but allow ourselves to be sucked in anyway. Personally, I have done all three of these things - I gave my heart to someone who didn't want it, I have hung on to many a toxic friendship thinking that the person will change, and there have been times where drama was my middle name.

I like to think that I am a pretty strong woman. I am confident and bold, and successful at what I do. But I am also very forgiving. This forgiving nature of mine often gets me hurt because sometimes the people I forgive and let back into my life and heart abuse the trust I put in them. As I get older, I am learning how to forgive and not forget, but it's difficult to balance this without hardening my heart.

But this trait isn't just unique to me - I see it every day in women I meet everywhere. Men, on the other hand, seem to be less ready to put themselves through emotional pain for the benefit of another person (or even the benefit of themselves). I wonder what makes us have this quality - if it is an affect of our gender or societal norms that expect us to be door mats.

Nevertheless, I find myself opening the doors to punishment once again. This fall I will hopefully be enrolling in the University of Maryland to complete my Bachelor's degree. This in its self isn't such a big deal, but add to it the fact that I also hold a leadership position in the RCIA team at church and will be teaching on both Sunday mornings and Monday nights, in addition to continuing to work full time and juggling family life, even I see that I am opening myself up for a great deal of punishment! I justify it to myself by saying that it will be worth it in the end. I know it will be hard work, but I know I can persevere and get it done.

I guess I really am just a glutton for punishment!